Archive for October, 2007

Shame on me!

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on October 29, 2007 by Budd Black

So, I tell my wife about the wonderful news of getting paid for my writing.  I asked her if she had read the essay and she looked at me and said, "you mean the one about the guy waving at you?"  I confirmed that was indeed the essay that was sold.  She confusedly looked at me and said, "I don't understand you.  Why are you moved by some stranger waving at you.  You have never written an essay about me, and I wash your clothes."

Point, Match, Game!

It isn't an essay, only a poem, but hopefuly it will do.

Domestic Goddess

 

Oh ye beautiful domestic goddess

Washer of clothes, raiser of kids

Without you my life would be a mess

And my finances on the skids

 

Thank you for your thankless work

Thank you for the things I do not see

I know that I can sometimes be jerk

So, thank you for putting up with me.

 

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Published!

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on October 26, 2007 by Budd Black

Well paid for work anyways.

Epiffunnies.com has chosen one of my essays as the Vitamin Epifunny of the week for their newsletter.  You can subscribe to the newsletter if you would like to read it in its published form, or you can click on my link below to the original post.  This is the first time I have ever made money from my writing and although it isn't much, it is symbolic.

My Essay

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Halloween Movie Suggestions

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , on October 22, 2007 by Budd Black

A co-worker invited a couple of people over for a Halloween movie night.  We watched two pretty awesome flicks.

In order of viewing

 

This movie was creepy, gory, and hilarious.  It succeeded on so many levels.  It was awesome.  The one liners in this movie are great. "What kinda thing wants you to eat it!"  Here is a plot synopsis, Mal finding himself abandoned on an Earth like planet, after Jayne has double crossed him and run off with Serenity, becomes a small town sheriff.  He has a thing for this girl that is married to a big jerk.  The big jerk gets infected and the little slugs turn everyone into zombies.  Pam must have broken up with Jim and quite her job at the office and moved to this town because she becomes a zombie.  I don't know how she aquired the southern accent so fast. 

This movie rocked and was lots of fun.

 

This movie was really creepy.  I think I need to read the short story.  I wasn't sure what I was expecting with this movie, but it surpassed whatever expectations I had.  It makes you not want to stay in hotel rooms.  This was good and is pretty scary.  Plot synopsis:  John Cusack is taking a hiatus from his record store/kickboxing/drawing/contract killing to write books about haunts.  He comes across this hotel where Sam Jackson works.  Sam wants the @$%@^@$% %@$%@$% poltergeist out of his !$!^$# !$!%$$%!@ hotel.  This movie was crazy and creepy and done with a minimal of computer graphics.  It was intense.

My synopsese were tainted by what I had seen the actors in previously.

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Date Movie

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on October 22, 2007 by Budd Black

Or, how to want to gouge out your eyes and box your own ears before throwing yourself in front of a bus. 

This movie sucks, and it isn't one of those sucks in a fun way to watch with a group of people either.  It sucks in ways that make you embarassed for anyone that had anything to do with this movie.  It wasn't the least bit funny (I did chuckle at the mounted tv on the fat girl joke and at the Michael Jackson using a stuffed animal to lure a youth jokes) but those were the funniest parts or the only funny parts.  Seriously, it sucks. . . bad!  I think the one guy was kicked off of house because the producers of house didn't want to be around anyone associated with the movie. 

Horrible.

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Picture this

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on October 16, 2007 by Budd Black

Two girls, one six and the other three.  They are standing in a Best Buy.  The both have guitar hero guitars strapped on.  Iron Man by Black Sabath is blaring. 

Yeah my girls rock!

Too bad I dont have a picture, but I am the male parental unit.  The female parental unit wouldn't have let them play (or attempt to play). 

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QotD: Don’t Bother Watching

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on October 12, 2007 by Budd Black

What's the worst new television show to premiere this season?

of the ones I have see, Bionic Woman.  it is just plain awful. 

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Strangers

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on October 10, 2007 by Budd Black

            Nine years apart.  That is the age difference between my sister and my self.  As a child this didn’t really mean much.  I was the older brother, the protector.  She was my baby sister and just as cute as she could be.  Somewhere along the line, those nine years became an uncrossable gulf. 

            My sister and I have different dads.  This has never been a point of dissention between us.  At age five, my mom and her dad broke up, and she went and lived with her dad.  It is actually infinitely more complicated than that but this is the closest approximation I can get without opening a very large bag of worms.  Her dad got married soon afterwards. 

            I didn’t much worry about things in high school.  I saw her from time to time and we kept the old roles from before.  My family has a habitation problem.  We are all very migratory.  At a point in my senior year, pretty much everyone had moved and was doing there own thing.  After high school I joined the Army and lived far, far away.  I tried to keep phone contact but if you think I was successfully you have never know an 18-22 year old boy.  Needless to say, we lost contact and didn’t see each other for a couple of years; I don’t think we even talked. 

            After the Army, I moved back to Middle Tennessee.  I then find out that my sister has moved, with her father, to her father’s hometown in East Tennessee.  I immediately make plans to go out and see her and bring her to visit me.  I am twenty-three and she is fourteen.  This is the first time I notice that I don’t know my sister.  We both have that great to see you attitude, but the situation is very awkward. 

            This awkwardness will only grow as the years pass.  My big brother teasing is met with pain and resentfulness.  My big brotherish protection is no longer wanted.  Hostility has arisen and I think that I am trying to reach out, but, am in fact, only managing to make things worse. 

            This past year has been the worst.  If it hasn’t been one thing it has been another.  She is now closing in on twenty-one and I am thirty.  I don’t understand her or the culture that she is growing up in.  We have completely different friends and really don’t know any of the same people at all.  Her dad had two more children and she has had the roll of oldest child for the past thirteen years.  She is not the baby girl of my childhood.

            I have been vocal in the past about her life decisions that I disagreed with.  I didn’t think smoking was a good idea, and, after I found out that she was okay, I let her know what I thought about getting into a car drunk with a driver that was drunk.  I was playing the big brother role and due to being a father myself, I kind of played the father role as well.  I did it because it was what came naturally.  It was a mistake.

            This summer it all came to a climax.  She was acting very disrespectful to my wife and I said some things that I didn’t mean.  I apologized and thought we were good, but I haven’t talked to her since.  The only way I know how to contact her is through Myspace, and that hasn’t worked out.  It is only affecting me in my brain though and not my heart.  I know I should be mad and/or heartbroken, but I am indifferent. 

            This twenty year old woman-child is different from me.  She grew up in a different environment, social circle, and time.  We have very little in common except genetics, or at least I think that is so, because the truth is that I don’t even know her.  We have been absent from each other for so long that there is now very little left of who we were once upon a time.  I don’t know if she is a good person or a bad person.  I don’t know what her motivations or beliefs are.  She is a complete stranger.  It will be hard to get to know her, but I think I owe that to both of us.  We may never be close, but hopefully we can at least be civil.

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